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there is not a bone in my cheap jewish body that can resist free cake. or free anything. because FREE is my favorite word. anyway, my friend is like a natural born baker and keeps on being like O SRAH, LET’S MAKE THIS CAKE and they are always SO GOOD and i KEEP ON EATING THEM UNTIL I FEEL SICK. sometimes i’m like “srah y don’t u have self control or dignity” and then i’m like “SHUT UP BECAUSE I DO HAVE FEELINGS” but let’s drop some truthbombs on my asshole self: GO 2 THE GYM AND EAT RIGHT, SRAH, IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TO. AND DON’T EAT IT EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T HAVE ENOUGH SELF CONTROL TO AFFORD SUCH A LUXURY.

i think i am little 2 extreme 4 the internet tonight (even worse than the PORN and the buttstuff AND THE CELEBRITY GOSSIPZ (and rule 34 but that fits in with porn)) so i’m going to move on and like nap, or something. have some cool dreams and shit. hopefully i will feel a tad more sane in the morning.

MY PICTURE OF THE BABY SEAL CAME OUT AND IT IS FAR AWAY ON THE SHORELINE LIKE A LITTLE BLOB BUT IT CAME OUT!!!! AND I SHOWED MY MOM AND JIM AND THEY WERE BOTH LIKE “BUT IT’S SO FAR COULDN’T YOU GET CLOSER?” NO I COULDN’T YOU SLORES IT’S A WILD ANIMAL IT WAS TOO BUSY SWIMMING BACK INTO THE OCEAN SORRY I’M NOT QUICK ENOUGH FOR A MAGICAL BABY SEAL YOU UNGRATEFUL TURDS

but seriously, it’s sooooooo cuuuuuuuuute and i’m sooooooooooo happyyyyyyyyyyy

i really hate that quote from the breakfast club that’s all “when you grow up your heart dies”. first of all, FALSE, because if growing up was so horrifying, we’d all be pooping ourselves and playing with toys forever and that is FAR SCARIER to me. that would kill my heart in like ten seconds. second of all, NO ONE is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to live a boring life that you hate. we can all do whatever the fuck we want the more we grow up! isn’t that awesome! most of us are just far too lazy and impatient to do the work that entails creating a successful life for yourself. with money. and i’m not saying that i’m any better than anyone because like LOL, LAZIEST PERSON 2011 4EVER, i’m just saying that growing older is awesome and you get maaaaaaaad wisdom and it’s AWESOME!!!!

if anyone thinks i’m useless, THEY ARE TOTALLY RIGHT, but y’alls don’t even know how good i am at it. i’m BOTH downloading new musics AND making my best friend her belated christmas mixCD. GOD. GET LYKKE LI THIS MOTHERFUCKERS !

do you ever just feel bad about life for no particular reason? like, i am full of anxiety and i feel like i am going to cry ever two seconds. and I’M NOT PREGNANT OR PMSing BECAUSE I FINISHED MY PERIOD LAST WEEK. these are just random life feelings that happen whenever a shift in my life happens. plus i have a critique two days after i get back and those always make me nervous, even though they are important and necessary for me to grow and develop as an artist. I JUST CAN’T TAKE JUDGEMENT, YOU GUYS. I AM REALLY SENSITIVE. I KNOW THAT THAT’S A PRETTY PATHETIC THING TO SAY BUT IT’S TRUE. I REALLY HAD TO STRUGGLE TO FIT INTO A PAIR OF JEGGINGS THIS MORNING AND EVER SINCE THAT OCCURRENCE I HAVE BEEN VERY FRAZZLED. THEY ARE SIZE 24 JEGGINGS FROM URBAN OUTFITTERS BUT JEGGINGS WERE CREATED FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF NOT HAVING TO JUMP AROUND FOR TEN MINUTES SO YOU CAN SQUEEZE YOUR ASS INTO THEM.

in less capslocky news, i am excited to go back to chicago, where i have the best weed dealer of all time, my perfect grinder, AND i get to live by myself. BUT I HAVE A NEW ROOMMATE. WONDER WHAT THAT SLORE IS LIKE. and school and fronds and blah, but mostly my drug dealer’s cats, even though i’ll miss my bbs.

time 2 smoke twelve bowls until i die. luv u internets!!!

whenever i’m outside during winter it is a really painful occurrence. the cold gives me headaches. is that normal? i don’t know if it’s normal but it’s REALLY INCONVENIENT. i am in headache doom right now. i’m not walking my dogs because i am a triple weenie and i can’t go back out there you guys i really can’t don’t make me do it!!!! family guy is on and there’s cats and a bed and i just never want to go outside again ever ever forever ever.

okay i just called my mom and she guilted me into walking the dogs and I HATE MYSELF hope i survive internets LUV U byeeEEeEeEe

molls:

i made you this mix to listen to while you’re earning your purse burgers.

since my last name is hamburger i feel like i can really relate 2 this post on a personal level.