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I KEEP LIGHTING MY HAIR ON FIRE. i haven’t lit it on fire since like junior year, when i wasn’t so used to lighting bowls as i am now, TWO YEARS LATER AND I SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS ANYMORE. like ew it smells so bad and gets all dead and curly and it’s my HAIR i want it to LIVE.

this is a fucking tragedy. i must no longer speak of it. if only i had a bagel.

my friends from michigan came to visit me today! they’re staying for a week and they each have iPads and really trippy apps on both iPads and it’s like AMAZEMENT CENTRAL here in the hamburger house you guys. i’m having a good break so far, since it involves many midnight blunts and seeing my fronds who i’ve missed all the time. i have yet to eat a bagel. me and my sister went to THREE DIFFERENT PLACES TODAY IN SEARCH OF ONE. i don’t even want to talk about it anymore. but tomorrow is a new day! and my michigan fronds have never been to long island and i’m giving them the carbohydrate experience thing of their LIFE. i fucking love bagels, you guys. i fucking love them. i would be dead without them. or less fat. BUT ALSO MISERABLE. my diet is at least 40% bagel.

on another note, this is really dumb but it’s been bothering me for like, the past day ever since i heard about it…so my cousin went to paris and she got laid so much and i’m SO JEALOUS. i want to sleep with french people they are sooooo hot. i just want to have crazy adventures and fuck french guys. I’M SO JEALOUS. IT’S SO CHILDISH BUT I AM.

by french people i mean gaspard ulliel and crying so don’t mind this. HE’S JUST SO PRETTY. I’LL NEVER GET OUT OVER IT. HE’S SOOOO PRETTTYYYYY

ON HOW TO LIVE RIGHT.

my sister is talking to me about religion and life and my brain is just like functioning enough to be like “pants and bagels and more pants” and it’s just like hnnnnNNNNNNNnnnnnng can’t take complicated thoughts nooooooooooOoOooooooooooooooooooo.

but seriously, you guys. what is the proper way to live? i mean there isn’t, obviously, but it’s like living in society or living in nature or living in something goddamn see TOO MANY OPTIONS HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG

the best thing about being home is that everyone is always down to smoke blunts in my basement. that, and i can download music again, because i really need to. i am comfortable and tired and i have a magazine with fergie on it! i’m gonna eat a bagel tomorrow!

i have nothing else to say, but life is gewds so i’m happy.

so, i watched the music video for rude boy like TWENTY times today and it is fucking awesome. it’s so0o0o0o0o0o0o good.

i wish i had something more intellectually stimulating to talk about but i yam who i yam, internets.

i wrote the title of this post without any idea of what the content was going to be about because if you’ve been reading this blog for like, a day, you know by now that there is nothing in the universe less impressive than me because i am most impressive in my ability to have a DISASTROUS LIFE. then i realized the one personal goal i could think of isn’t even relevant to my life anymore, and the way that it did relate to my life was a really stupid personal one that you can’t explain to other people without them thinking you are psychotic or just like, really dumb. i had a dream last night that i was back in chicago and working on this project involving jenny holzer, who is a really good text artist and someone who really inspires me. in this dream i was gonna go pick up from my chicago dealer, who i LURVE very much (his weed and bongs and cats, anyway. he’s cool) and i woke up really sad and weedless and sad. it’s a snow day, so i really, really need to get baked today of all days because there is literally NOTHING ELSE TO DO. someone massage my neck. like, seriously. anyone? get your hand grease on these neckbones? shit hurts, man. shit hurts real bad.

sometimes i think of what i’m doing as art and then i’m like LOL because really…lol, not really. i wouldn’t say it’s quite there yet, y’know? i’m watching a bunch of movies and thinking about all the fucking work behind them and i am like nowhere near a real true artist and that’s pretty disappointing but it’s my fault, y’know? i’m letting myself bitch out and be lazy just because i want success to just happen to me instead of working for it. I GOTTA WORK, YOU GUYS. REALIZATIONS. but first i gotta sleep this entire month and lose like ten pounds and shit. i wish that could happen without me working for it either, y’know? but that is really asking too much and that is really also my fault since the bulk of my diet this past week has been brownies and frosting and frosted brownies. but now there’s none left because i ate them all so i am STARTING FRESH and eating vegetables and brown rice and BROTEIIIINNNZNZNZNZNZNZ and maybe trying to get a normal sleep schedule and all that shit. everyone’s like WAITING 4 THE NEW YEAR TO STOP DOING ______ LOL ! but like…that’s such a bitch way to do things. if you’re gonna do anything, stop putting it off and do it right NOW. goddamn. DEEP. INSPIRATION.

but anywayyyyy, lord of the rings is on so like GOT THINGS 2 DO. LATER, LOSERS.

blah blah blah people have feelings blah blah blah it’s snowing, that basically sums up life and the internet. OH, AND I’M OUT OF WEED. TRAGIC. but my sister ordered step up 3 on iO because she LUVS me and my bad taste and my love of shitty dancing movies. dancing for the streets!!!! dancing for our lives!!!!! BUT SAVE THE LAST DANCE SUX JULIA STILES IS SO WHITE. that’s all. can nevr change my opinions, sry.

did i mention i ordered a really nice sweater? life is alright, i guess. TIME 2 WATCH STEP UP 3 I AM SO EXCITE BAI.

this was originally a list of things i wanted in order to look like a slutty homeless person, but then i realized that a list wasn’t necessary because that is a very vivid description. REGARDLESS, I JUST BOUGHT A REALLY NICE SWEATER.

windowwindow:

i don’t get when rich people don’t do lots of drugs

relevant to my life post, also when rich people don’t give me money so i can do lots of drugs is another thing i don’t quite understand. imagine if i were rich, you guys. ecstasy hot chocolate! having a perfect life!

you know when people just have perfect faces and then it turns out they are gay? isn’t that the most disappointing feeling in the world when you yourself are not gay? i’m looking at you, matt bomer. THERE’S A REASON YOUR LAST NAME IS A LETTER AWAY FROM BONER.

that’s all i came here to say today. that is all.

SELL ME WEED

or just being asleep and making lots of noises. either way, IT IS SO CUTE. my precious nanimal. AW. HE JUST MOVED AROUND. AWWWWWW.

my brofriend has the most PRECIOUS DOG OF ALL TIME. this is off-topic but not really because i didn’t actually have a topic when i started this post. besides cat. BUT ANYWAY. MOVING ON. this animal is so goddamn precious. it is a fat chubby furry king charles cavalier dog named ginger. BADORABLE. i called her precious a bunch of times and his entire family started telling me about how creepy that was because of silence and the lambs. or something. mostly it just made me think of how uncultured and notsmart i am. also, his mom got me a lotion for christmas. it was so CUTE AND NICE. like, seriously. i’m just some bitch. she didn’t have to get me anything. but she did! it was so cute! i forgot it at his house obviously (lol) (did you know i started saying “lol” in public now? just like “oh blah blah blah LAWL blah” it’s really embarrassing BUT I CAN’T STOP) because i’m dumb but STILL. I’LL NEVER 4GET THE KINDNESS.

just got my sleeping cat high secretly. MURRY HOLIDAYS. I YAM WHO I YAM 4EVER.

merry christmas.

my friend from chicago owed me ten bucks for weed and was supposed to pay me on the day i left. obviously, he didn’t, because all the friends i’ve made in chicago i guess don’t really give a fuck about me. because, i mean, it was ten dollars. he was my friend. like, pay me the fucking money you owe me instead of being a fucking douchebag because if we were actually friends you’d do that for me. but obviously not, y’know? people just don’t give a fuck. which, fine, y’know? obviously you’re not really my friend if that’s gonna go down. and that’s cool, because it saves me a lot of assholery in the long run. so in a weird way, THANKS BRO. OWE U ONE. LOL.

dear everyone: be less of an asshole this year. it don’t look good on any of you.

i’m so bored. I’M SO BORED. I’M SOOOOOOO BORED. i’m ugly and it’s a good thing that i’m not wearing pants so it can distract from my ugliness. i’m so bored. why am i still typing? i’m just bored. i just got two new cardigans! i just got home! awesome! my sister’s so jealous. awesome!

time to smoke a bowl bye.

i’m pretty high. my fronds brought over themselves and a bag of weed and we smoked like eight bowls and i’m about to go get chinese food with my family. COOL LIFE SRAH. i have my camera and i filmed a bunch of stuff and i’m gonna make some short film-type thing just about being home and shit. i feel like whatever art you make is just like studies for future art so it’s a win/win situation to just make art all the time whenever you want about whatever you want. i am just so relieved that i have a whole month to relax and do whatever the fuck i want (smoke weed, pet cats, eat) and i get to recharge my brain and my body and my SPIRIT. DAMN. DEEP. GET REAL. DAMN. ALL THIS TRUTH. SHIT.

i’m gonna eat the fuck out of this chinese food right now but first my cat is being badorable in my doorway so i’mma pet the FUCK outta this cat. i’m happy to be home! fuck my cat left! but i’m still happy!

i’ve hooked up with one bro from my school and he’s in this band, right? AND HE’S SKINNIER THAN ME. THESE FUCKING HIPSTERS. anyway, only his band is actually pretty good and i downloaded the EP since it was free and i really like it. i actually keep listening to it because i actually legitimately like it. like, SINCE WHEN ARE PEOPLE ACTUALLY TALENTED. goddamn.

most of my cats are still in hiding but i cuddled with both my dogs for a while and it is nice to be home.

i have accomplished taking a shower, now i have to do my laundry and pack. but i am so0o0o0o0o00o0o0o lazy and tireds even though i slept ALL DAY. my life is retarded. at least i’m going home, where i can be retarded in peace with cats and my sister and cats. it’s nice to go home. i’ll miss my grinder, but it’ll be nice. i went to this party during the summer once where there were just endless amounts of weed for no reason and i got so high and i don’t know what brings it to mind but i don’t know. i love memories!!!! i have so many of them!!!!

i cleaned the mushroom piece. i’m rdy 2 go.

hnnnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNNnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggg HNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

just decided to. for no reason other than it’s a shithole and kind of embarrassing.

being the best and most useful 2010 4ever.